The first entry reads thus:
(9/10/90) Well, here I am again, trying to start a journal. Hopefully I’ll be able to actually keep it. Â Aricelius just transferred to Kearny, leaving me with no one to talk to. Â I had an interesting weekend. watched a movie, played Moonwalker (Michael Jackson’s), chewed someone else’s gum (Paulette’s), and saw the group again. Not necessarily in that order. Well, the group got smaller. Just the diehards. Me, Aricelius, Cristina and Paulette. I have no idea why I’m attracted to her. I just am. It’s either stupidity or luck–bad luck. Which is about the only luck I ever get.
This is the first entry that I have. I, according to my own admission apparently tried to start a journal at an earlier time, but was unable to keep it. Where that journal is located is unknown. I guess it’s just lost, a casualty of the fickle mind of a fifteen year old teenage boy.
I’m guessing I feel pretty alone here.
Aricelius has transferred to a public high school, one with a better drama program. I recall for some reason latching on to him, being an almost comedic sidekick because he was so popular and I was not. There was a lot of deprecating humor at my expense from both of us at the time, which I didn’t realize was harmful to myself until much later.
My social life was of utmost importance at this time. I had to go out each weekend to see a movie. Of course, movies were only $3.75 at the time. On the other hand, I remember watching Purple Rain in the theater. At this time, I can only remember Arachnophobia as a movie that I purchased a ticket to and watched, but what the hell, it could have been Death Warrant as well.
It’s here in this first entry where we can see my early preference for video games. I can still actually bring the game to mind. Top down isometric view beat’em up with the 16-bit version of Smooth Criminal as the soundtrack. Hold the attack button down to moonwalk and power up your strikes.
Oh the things I keep in my head for 20 years.
I also notice I have chewed someone else’s gum. Classy. Although how I got it is probably not in the fun exciting way, because I know for a fact I haven’t kissed a girl yet.
I squirm a little bit when I read this:
I have no idea why I’m attracted to her. I just am.
I’ve got a theory: she’s the only single Asian girl in the group.
It was important at the time. I don’t even recall if she was Filipino or not. In fact, I don’t remember much about her, other than I liked her, and that apparently was enough to satisfy my sense of entitlement.
Also of importance is this line, the sign off.
It’s either stupidity or luck–bad luck. Which is about the only luck I ever get.
Going to go out on a limb here, but I think this qualifies me as a trendsetting emo teenager 20 years before it became a thing.
This is an interesting time. It’s 1990. Bon Jovi’s “Blaze of Glory” (from the Young Guns 2 soundtrack) is the number one song in the country this month, according to Billboard magazine.
I am more than likely, a fashion disaster. I recall light grey pants, rolled the correct way, because for some reason it determined your sexual orientation. (I… can’t even right now.)Â I would like to point out that this is going on at the same time everyone is wearing pastel patterned shirts. I probably have a black sweater on, maybe over my shoulders or wrapped around my waist. My hair may or may not be permed at this time. I more than likely, have aviator shaped lenses because they are the first glasses you get until you know better.
I’m starting my sophomore year in high school at St. Augustine’s High School. Over the past year, I survived the heavily supervised but-yet-still-allowed hazing of my school’s Freshman Welcome Week, forced swing dance lessons with our sister school, The Academy of Our Lady of Peace, and my memory is a little hazy at this time, but worked through some depression and suicidal thoughts with the high school counselor.
Or it may yet happen. This whole trip will be filled with surprises for me as well.